Take Space Make Space

When teaching a group of senior leaders about effective leadership behavior, we often ask participants to agree to a set of guiding principles. On of my favorites is “Take Space, Make Space.” This is a reminder that people learn and participate at different paces, and we need to honor that.

Have you ever noticed how some people jump in to contribute to the conversation as soon as there is a lull?  And, for others, they will sit back and wait, maybe never adding in unless asked – or at all.  As leaders, we have the responsibility to notice this – both in ourselves and others.  Which is your tendency? And what about your team members?

In the spirit of inclusion, the best leaders know that they have to create a psychologically safe space where everyone feels free to express their opinions without negative consequences.  This is, of course, easier said than done.  (Stay tuned for future posts about this topic).

If you are a person who always speaks up and speaks out at the first opportunity, I encourage you to try holding yourself back, and being more curious about what others think.  If you are the leader of the group, this is even more important, especially if you want to hear what people really think, instead of creating “group think,” where everyone thinks like you do. You might be surprised at what you learn.

On the flip side, if you are the one who doesn’t easily speak up, ask yourself why that is. Is your reticence a natural reserve or a lack of confidence?  Or is it the environment that prevents you?  What would happen if you tapped into a greater level of courage to offer your opinion sooner?

Leaders have a responsibility to understand the people on their team. Ideally, you want to hear from everyone in order to tap into all the different skills, experiences, and perspectives that are represented.  This means you have to pay attention, to notice, and to ask someone with a tendency to introversion for their opinion.  You also have to make it safe for people to offer a different perspective.

When I learned this lesson, it made a big difference to me as a leader.  Sometimes, the introverts on the team have the best ideas, because they are quietly paying attention while everyone is talking away.  Some are so busy talking that they are not really listening. I learned to follow up with my introverts the next day to get their take.  They often offered a thoughtful, insightful point of view that I might have easily missed if I didn’t ask.

Maybe you and your team need to adopt the “take space, make space” principle.  Ask people to be more aware of how much airtime they are taking up vs. seeking out opinions from others. This level of self-awareness is a good practice for everyone, and especially for leaders and aspiring leaders.

What do you think? I’d love to hear about your experience with this, as well as other ideas you have for strengthening your team.