You Are Stronger Than You Think

The resilience of the human spirit never ceases to amaze me.  People having unbelievable hardships and facing monumental challenges nevertheless rise to the occasion and overcome the difficulties.

Sometimes, when we least expect it, a test of our character shows up. And people around us are somehow there to share – and ease – the burden.

What about you? What challenges have you had to face? How did you show up? To what extent were you ready to face the challenge? Who showed up for you?

No one gets through life without some dark days.  It’s important to recognize and accept things we cannot change.  It’s important to realize we always have a choice:  we can stay frustrated and resist the darkness, or we can accept what is and try to find – or create - the light.

Your mindset plays a critical role in how you survive the challenges life throws at you.  When you decide to make the most of a bad situation and meet it with an open mind and an open heart, good things can happen.  When you decide that this is the worst that can happen, you may be surprised to find that it isn’t.  You actually bring on more suffering with your negative attitude.

Situations in which we cannot effect immediate change can be among the most difficult.  When we are struggling, it can really weigh on us.  We want it to stop; we want things to be better. We live in a culture that values agency, and the ability to make things happen.  When we cannot make things happen, we feel powerless and frustrated.  However, we are never totally powerless in a situation because we can always decide how we will interact with it.

We need to come to grips with the reality of the situation. That doesn’t mean we have to give up.  Rather, it means we recognize the limits of our ability to change the circumstances, and we do what we can to make a difference, and we do what we can to help ourselves through it. We give ourselves some grace.

We can also remember that things will not always be dark. Instead of projecting into the future, which is an unknown, we can focus on the present, and practice patience.  I will admit that this is a lesson life teaches me over and over again. Things will happen, things will change – in their own time, not on my schedule.

Another thing to remind ourselves is that progress, when it does occur, is not necessarily linear.  It may be two steps forward, one step back, or it may be sideways steps. Focusing on the outcome you want, and looking past the speed bumps, will help ease the journey. Sometimes change is so slow that it’s imperceptible, so we have to really tune in to see it.

One final reminder is that you are stronger than you think.  If you think through other times when you faced difficulties – and survived – you probably learned new skills or developed new ways to cope.  Maybe you even surprised yourself. Those experiences made you stronger and those strengths are still available to you. After all, struggling is a part of life; it’s part of the human condition. And it’s an opportunity to practice patience, self-compassion, and self-love.

If you want some help navigating challenges – and learning how to prepare yourself to meet them head on with resilience, courage, and confidence, I can help.  Let’s talk.